Rekindling Old Love: Just a Dream or Reality?

My question is: when is an old love too old (years since you have seen the person) when should you let an old love go and just move on?

Nad says: Love is a strong thing, isn't it? It has the ability to live on and flourish even when the person it's focused on is long gone. There is no cut and dry answer to your question. It depends. Did something cause you to all of a sudden take an interest in this person again or have you been pining away for years? You never want to stifle your joy by holding out hope for a person who has clearly moved on or just isn't interested, but I have heard stories of people meeting up years or decades later and picking up where they left off.

Have you seen or talked to this person lately? Do you have reason to believe he is still interested? If so, then there may be something there, but if you haven't seen this person in a long time and know nothing about his current life, I'd say let it go. He could be married or maybe he's grown into a completely different person. You might not even be attracted to the person he is now. There are just so many unknowns: Where does he live? What is he doing now? What is he like? You don't want to spend your life being in love with the idea of a person. It's better to find someone you can love in reality.

Sometimes, we can create grand ideas of what a person is like. Though we may have little knowledge of the person in reality, in our minds, we've created the perfect person and can't help but to compare everyon else to the created perfection that lives only in our imagination. We see it a lot with celebrities. Women swoon over male actors and singers, thinking, "He's perfect. I'd love to be with him." We attach ourselves to the roles they play or the songs they sing and think they are genuine reflections of who those people really are. The truth is that we know nothing about them and would be shocked to actually meet some of them in person and see how they conduct themselves in real life. (Need I mention Chris Brown?)

I'm not saying this is your case. I just wanted to bring up the point that loving a person from afar is often very different from face-to-face love. I hope I'm not raining on your parade. I love the idea of stepping out on faith, but I also love the idea of making wise decisons and living your life in a fashion that will allow you to benefit the most. Chasing after a person you've had little or no contact with in years may have no benefit. Please keep us updated. We'd love to hear what happens!

Mina says:  Great answer Nad! =)  My thoughts--It seems that you're speaking of an inner longing and hope, and not necessarily something that can practically materialize. (If it could, then by all means-- seek! see where he's at, the worst that could happen is he's still unavailable, in any number of ways...) But if you already know its not gonna happen, but that inner longing is still there, ask yourself--is it serving you to still hope, or could you be cutting yourself off from experiencing new love, that's real and manifesting (in a physical sense) in your life. 'Cause we wouldn't want to do that! Lol....The Good News: Genuine love never really dies.  Honor that special feeling the person was used as a vessel to bring into your life and heart.  Letting go never means dishonoring that.  It had it's place and served it's purpose, but cycles come to an end, seasons change and nothing really remains but God...Understand that God was the true Facilitator and Provider of that love,  and that lovey-dovey feeling, and can replace it with something more real and fulfilling, once you clear space to receive it... Many blessings =)

Dream Chasers... Are you one?

Hey Ladies,

It's Nad. I wanted to come check in with you guys, because Mina and I get so busy. You know how life consumes you sometimes and you don't find your way out for days, weeks or even months? It's important to step back from time to time, come up for air.

Mina and I share a common goal of empowering women, and we've both been working toward that goal. Personally, I've published a book called "On All the Things That Make Me Beautiful: Short Inspirational Essays on Life, Love & Self." It is full of advice on a whole slew of topics ranging from love and marriage, to body image and confidence, to forgiveness and health. There is a little bit of everything in there.

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to write a book. But, I never did anything about it. Now, I've finally done it, and I wish I had done it sooner. We live in a time and space that encourages most people to be mindless drones, getting the old minium wage, "9-5" job and just barely making it. Sure, you've always wanted to be a dancer, but that's too hard, so just become an office assistant, and live with it. Sure, you've always wanted to open a restaurant, but that's too hard, so just work the register at Payless, and live with it.

As children, we have such big aspirations. "I want to be a maker. You know, a person that makes stuff like buildings and tables," a young girl once told me. If she ends up like most others, she'll shed that dream somewhere in her teen years and settle for a job that just lets her get by.  We all have so much potential, but somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we're convinced to shelve it. I challenge you to pull your potential from the shelf, dust it off, and put it to good use.