Home Wrecker Hassle

Hello Nad and Mina,

I just started going to a church that I really like, but I'm having trouble with one of the women there. I think she doesn't like me because she saw me talking to her husband. In my defense, I didn't know he was married. I was actually talking to him about business and yes, I was being a little flirty, but like I said I didn't know he was married. At the time I noticed her off in the corner looking at me with a mean eye, but I didn't know who she was and ignored it.

Later I asked my friend about the guy and she told me he was married to the woman who was staring me down. I felt bad, so I tried to talk to her and let her know I'm not a home wrecker. I didn't say "I'm not a home wrecker," but I tried to reassure her that I was talking to her husband about a business matter.

I thought everything was cool, but now I'm hearing that she is telling people that I'm trying to steal her man! I don't know what to do. I don't want to get a bad reputation, especially one I don't deserve. What should I do?

Nad says: Congrats on not being a home wrecker! There are some women that wouldn't care he is married.  Glad to see you're not one of them. If this woman is spreading rumors about you, there isn't much you can do other than go directly to the source. I know you tried talking to her the first time, but  now it is even more urgent because your reputation is at stake.

Don't approach her with an attitude. That may make it worse. Tell her you want to straighten some things out because of what you've been hearing. Ask her if she has anything she'd like to say to you and let her know you'd appreciate her keeping any issues she has with you between the two of you.

If she continues to talk about you, then there won't be anything you can do about it. Unfortunately, some people get joy from spreading rumors and will do it because it makes them feel good. And if she continues to insist you want her man when you've done nothing else to indicate that, she must be insecure about her abilty to keep her man. That's her problem, not yours.

All you can do is continue to conduct yourself with respect and your character will speak for itself. People will see that you aren't trying to steal anyone's man and that the problem is the wife, not you.  Remember, don't stress. That won't affect anyone but you.

Mina says: I co-sign! especially with this "all you can do is continue to conduct yourself with respect and your character will speak for itself."